My Pregnancy So Far

{Almost 7 Weeks}

I am so thankful for a healthy pregnancy so far. I always go through the blood tests in the beginning because of my first ectopic pregnancy and through it all everything has looked very "normal." 

We had a little scare at a little over 10 weeks when the doctor thought he could find the heartbeat without an ultrasound but couldn't find it and so we had an emergency ultrasound but the tech found a quick little heartbeat beating very fast and we were so relieved.

{12 Weeks}

I was extremely sick my first trimester. Way more sick than I was with the girls but at about 18 weeks it all let up.

{15 Weeks}

 {20.5 Weeks}

 

At 20 weeks we found out we were having a boy and we couldn't be more excited about adding a boy to our family. We are still working on names but I have my vote and Im pretty sure it's going to win!

 {22 Weeks}

 {25 Weeks}

He is just stretching and growing away. I have loved the second trimester to pieces! It's so so fun to feel him kick all the time but not be so big that I can't move just yet. He seems like much more of a kicker than A and A. I am incredibly thankful for this little life inside of me.

{25.5 Weeks}

I cannot wait to meet this little miracle. I just cannot help but think of Psalm 139

Oh yes, you shaped this sweet baby boy inside, then out;
    you are forming him in my womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, we are all marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know him inside and out,
    you know every bone in his body;
You know exactly how he was made, bit by bit,
    how he was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you are watching him grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of his life were spread out before you,
The days of his life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day........

Pregnancy Update and "Sovereign" by Chris Tomlin

Today, I found out I lost my baby....
I had a sinking feeling about the whole thing all day and my appointment wasn't until 1:45. I kept telling myself my feeling was fear, fear after all we have been though with the ectopic and this baby not being ok, then miraculously fighting back with a strong heartbeat that I would naturally feel a sense of fear. I prayed and prayed but couldn't shake the "pit in my stomach" feeling. Yesterday, I told someone we were having a baby in August and as the words came out of my mouth I felt like I knew it wasn't going to happen. Today, I went to write on my calender when I would be 13 weeks pregnant or "in the clear" and I couldn't do it. I know my God prepared my heart for 2:15 when I would hear the news that there was no heartbeat. He is so good to me in that way.

Today, I should be 9 weeks and 3 days, the baby measured 8 weeks and 3 days....

I don't really know what to say except that I know my God is good and does only good. (ps 119) I know He is absolutely Sovereign (Col 1:16-18), works ALL things out for our good and His glory (Rom 8:28), and that He has good plans for us (Jer 29:11). I know He desires to do immeasurably more through my life and that somehow this is part of that immeasurably more (Eph 3:20) that I realize I may never understand on this side of heaven, but I will accept because I know my God loves me passionalty, infinitely, as far more than I can even comprehend (Ps 103:11, Ps 86:15). I am thankful to God that He is always with me, always faithful, and knows how the pieces of my life fit together best to most glorify Him.

I have a DNC scheduled for Wednesday morning and I would really appreciate your prayers.

I wanted to post the lyrics from an awesome song called "Sovereign" by Chris Tomlin. It's on his new CD Burning Lights. It is just perfect right now.


Sovereign in the mountain air
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm
With me in the storm

Sovereign in my greatest joy
In my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn

In your everlasting arm
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you

In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

Sovereign in the mountain
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm
With me in the storm

Sovereign in my greatest joy
Sovereign in my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn

In your everlasting arms
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you

In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

All my hopes
All I need
Held in your hands

All my life
All of me
Held in your hands

All my fears
All my dreams
Held in your hands

All my hopes
All I need
Held in your hands

All my life
All of me
Held in your hands

All my fears
All my dreams
Held in your hands

In your everlasting arms
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you

In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

God whatever comes my way
I will trust you




 

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, BLESSED (praised and magnified) BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!! Job 1:21

Pregnancy Update

I have been meaning to post about the pregnancy/miscarriage. I meant to write about it on Thankful Tuesday this week but we had company and I never got to blogging while they were here (we were having too much fun!)

So, the timeline of events so far:

December 4- I feel pregnant, take a pregnancy test and it is POSITIVE

December 5- I have my blood taken to monitor levels because of my previous ectopic pregnancy 

December 7- I have my blood taken again to make sure the HcG levels are rising

December 9- I get a call that the levels are going down and I need to come in for an emergency ultrasound to make sure I am not experiencing another ectopic

Ultrasound shows baby is in the uterus and there is a cyst on my ovary, baby looks ok.

I have my blood taken again.

December 10- I get a call that the levels are going down even further and that I will miscarry.

I am offered a drug to induce a miscarriage, I do not take it.

I am told to wait a week and see if I pass the baby and I will have a follow up ultrasound on Monday the 17th.

Decemeber 9-15- I start experiencing this awful back pain. I call the doctor all week to make sure all was ok with all the back pain I was experiencing because I still wasn't miscarrying as far as I knew.

December 15- I am offered the abortion drug again to induce a miscarriage. I decline.

December 16- I go to the ER because of the back pain. The determine that I have a cyst that is causing the pain and THAT MY BABY NOW HAS A HEARTBEAT.

The heartbeat is slow 110 beats per minute so they still believe I will miscarry.

December 17- I have an appointment with my OBGYN and she performs an ultrasound. My baby still has a heart beat and it has gotten a little faster 120 bpm.

For the first time, my doctor tells me that she is hopeful.

She believes all the back pain is muscle related and puts me on muscle relaxers.

I have my blood taken again and they determine that my progesterone is low and I need to take a progesterone supplement to support the pregnancy.




Whew. I wanted to write that out for me but even I didn't realize how crazy things have really been. My next appointment with my OB is December 26th. She asked me if I wanted to know my hormone levels again and I said no. If they aren't doing what they are "supposed to" I didn't want to freak out mentally.

Today I am seven weeks pregnant. This isn't at all how I thought I would find out or tell everyone I was pregnant but then once again God is using this to remind me that He controls all things and that I don't. Why do I need that reminder so often!

When we heard the sweet little baby's heartbeat on the 16th in the ER everything changed for Adam and I. Before, I guess I felt like I was waiting on a baby that had already died to pass but when we heard that heartbeat I knew we had to fight for this little life. I have been praying for the Lord to sustain this life if it be His will and that He would make this baby strong.

And so we continue to wait.....only with hope. I know that God has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11) and that He has my life and this little one's life in His hands. I know that HE has fearfully and wonderfully begun to form this baby in my womb (Psalm 139) and that all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (Col 1)

We covet your prayers right now for this little baby. I pray He gives me the strength to trust Him no matter what happens. We are utterly hopeless without Him.