Looking Back.. Ephesians 4:32

Relationships are hard no matter how you look at them. And relationships have seasons. Sometimes restoration is what God calls me to in relationships, sometimes boundaries are necessary, and sometimes, for a season, or forever, it’s best just to part ways in a relationship. 

I went through a season in a difficult friendship where the Lord asked me to forgive again and again every morning. He specifically put it on my heart to pray that “my mercies would be new every morning” for this person because God’s mercies are new for me every morning. It was a hard task for me; the person that continually hurt me never acknowledged it, but it did not matter. The Lord called me to forgive every day anyway and now we have a beautiful friendship and I hardly even think about those hard times. 

In other relationships over the past years the Lord has simply told me to part ways with people for different reasons. I hate the feeling of a lack of resolution or wondering “what if”, however, I was reminded this morning that God has a purpose for everything in my life and that “change brings an opportunity for God to change my perspective."

John Macarthur says, “In God’s providence, He orchestrates every event in life-even suffering, temptation, and sin-to accomplish both temporal and eternal benefits.” I love this statement. Every story has two sides, even when my relationships have ended because of sin on my part, God promises to use the situation, if I allow Him, for my good and His glory. 

Looking back, I can now see that I have a tendency to put too much weight on my relationships sometimes. God wants me to please Him above anyone else. He wants my identity to come from Him and His love for me and not who I am friends with or what they think of me.

I can tend to let the enemy come in and place guilt on my heart for every single relationship in my life that has not worked out perfectly or the fact that everyone is not in agreeance with everything I do, but His word completely contradicts this type of thinking. God says, “there is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” (Rom 8:1) He says, “Are you trying to please God or man? If you are living to please man, you are not a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)

He wants me to live for His approval, following His voice even when it doesn’t make sense in regard to relationships. He wants me to forgive, because I have been forgiven so much! (Ephesians 4:32) (And yes, that one definitely needs an exclamation mark!) And He wants me to love, love deeply and unselfishly, bearing other’s burdens and following His leading in relationships. With this type of perspective, I am free from guilt and able to move freely in the friendships and relationships I now have.