Thursday, May 5, 2011

Faith: Believing God is in Control Part 2

I'm not sure where to start with all of this. It just goes back so far but I'll try to recap a bit. When my mom came to visit me for her spring break, Adelyn was not sleeping well (surprise, surprise right?!)
 After my mom left, we took her to the doctor, another ear infection. Well, since then she has had an ear infection minus a couple days here and there. We need tubes. Shortened version.
  I am not scared of tubes at all. I think they will be great for us. It is just that if you really know me and knows what goes on in our family, you know that Adelyn has been sick with something almost every day since she has been born.
 I know, I know, that sounds super dramatic, but I assure you it is not. It is very true! (I could prove this in sooo many ways but I'll just leave you with that fact that we reached our deductible of 1,000 in January of this year!) And, I know if you have read this blog, you know a little bit about our struggles with reflux, food allergies, food intolerance, medication allergies and our visits to Children's hospital.
 The other day, Annabelle started acting funny. I noticed it for a few days but can never tell if it's the crazy terrible twos but one night in the middle of the night she started calling out to me and telling me that her ears hurt. I knew she had an ear infection too.
 (See, her poor eye is red.) Anyway, (I am trying to make the sad part as short as I can!) we went back to the doctor to find out today that both girl still had their ear infections from last week (Adelyn's from 2 weeks ago.) So, the doctor told me today that Adelyn will need to get in to see the ENT faster than our June 10th appointment. They should be calling me tomorrow. A definite answer to prayer.
 I guess, on the blog, I want to focus on the good things. I take pictures of the girls when we have gotten dressed (bc a lot of times we stay in our pjs :) ) and we are having fun doing something. I don't write as much about our hard times. I felt like for a while I was just complaining and that the Lord was working on my heart in that area about how it was not pleasing to Him.
 And, I want to be grateful and thankful and I feel like my heart is sooo full of those things but the fact of the matter is that I struggle too. It is hard to be in Ohio, with a two year old and a one year old so far away from family, but to have them sick all.the.time. almost makes it unbearable at times.
I sent out a text today that just said, "Please pray for us today. Both girls are still not doing well and we go to the dr at 10:30. Please pray for wisdom for the doctor and that I am able to communicate our needs clearly. Please pray that God's will will be done and that He will continue to supply me with the faith that He is in control. Thank you and love you all."
 I know some people probably didn't even know what I was talking about, but that is why God has told me to be better about asking people to pray for me. If I can do this with a heart to please God, and not to complain, it is most definitely the right thing for me to do. I mean who tells us not to ask people for prayer, either our prideful selves or the enemy of our souls, not God.
 I just want to be real. I want to honor God and love Him and serve Him faithfully and I know He has a plan for my sweet baby. Believe me, I know there are way worse things that could be happening in our family, but I also know that for us, the things we have dealt with are daily struggles that seem to never go away and are completely out of our control.
 I am so thankful that none of the things Adelyn has dealt with should carry over into even the next few years of her life. I love taking scripture and making it mine, (or my kids.) I prayed to God over and over again, "God, Adelyn is fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, you know them full well!"
 God knows her and wants the best for her. Only things that filter through His hands can "get" to our family so I have to trust Him. And I can say confidently right now that I do. I pray He teaches me faith through all of this and that the lesson "sticks!"
 These two verses were especially comforting to me today. Hab 3:19, "The Lord is my strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like Hind's feet and will make me to walk (not stand still in terror, but to walk) and make spiritual progress upon high places (of trouble, suffering, or responsibility.)
Also, this prayer from my Beth Moore study especially spoke to me, "O Lord, I want to be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil (Romans 16:19) I want to wash myself clean from every impurity of the flesh and spirit, making my sanctification complete in the fear of God. (2 Corinthians 7:1) Yet, my life has proven again and again and again that my desire is not enough! Please help me Lord! Empty me of me and fill me with you for I need you desperately."

Ok, I can't help but to post this one more:
Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation (fleeing temptation, remaining, tarrying, persevering under misfortunes and trials, holding fast to one's faith in Christ) for when he has stood the test (been "made in Christ, finished), and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life (life, real and genuine, active, vigorous, devoted to God and blessed) which God has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12


austinway said...

Praying for your sweet girls! We just found out my youngest will be getting tubes soon too! By the way.. I needed this post today! So encouraging!

Heather said...

Ashley, praying for the girls!! I don't even have kids, but I know enough about them to know that raising a 1 year old and 2 year old so far from family is tough cookies. You have a beautiful heart and I know the Lord is giving you strength to get through this season in your life - all of this to say, I will continue to pray for health for the baby girls! Hang in there :) Love to you!!

Cherit said...

Praying for your sweet family too. Your words were very encouraging and uplifting. Thank you for sharing.