I have been waking up early (explanation in this post) ok not that early but at 7 in order to spend time with God before the girls get up. I took a break the week I went to Memphis and by the time I got home I was such a mess. I can tell that waking up a little earlier is definitely what God wants me to do because it just changes my attitude for the the whole day.
So I'm not going to lie it is HARD work BUT I am truly beginning to love it! I wake up and make coffee and sit down and read my study while drinking my coffee and then by the time the girls get up I have a little caffeine in me and also have my head in the right place for the day or my focus on Christ. Believe me I am not bragging on myself; I could not get up if it were not for God's help. I pray every morning, Lord please give me the energy to get out of bed...I REALLY don't want to! Adelyn is still waking up in the night some and always takes one bottle sometime in the middle of the night. My thoughts are if I can wake up now with not getting a ton of sleep then I can keep this up when I do get sleep (again with God's help of course.)
I have been going through the life of Paul in my biblestudy and it has been so good to see and study his human side! I have learned so much from it, it is hard to even explain it all but I do want to explain Sunday's lesson. OK, I am just being honest here, Sundays are the hardest day for me to get up early because it is extra early because I get all ready before the girls get up so I can get them ready by myself and be there by 9. I was struggling getting up this Sunday but the Lord gave me the strength to get up and I am sooo glad he did. The main verse for the day was 1 Corinthians 2:3 "I came to you in weakeness and fear, and much trembling." Paul went to Corinth and he said that he did not speak with eloquence, superior wisdom, or wise and persuasive words "in order that people's faith may not rest on man's wisdom but on God's." The question at the bottom of the page said, "Have you ever had a lengthy time alone in which your mind 'ran away with you' with negative thoughts''? All of these things got me to thinking about my singing and how when I majored in music at Ouachita I was sooo beaten down and just quit music and was so defeated. I began thinking about how so many times when Adam has me lead the church in a song that the devil just gets all over me and tell me that I am not that good and that I am going to mess up and so on and so on. So, the next question in the study for the day was, "When's the last time you lost your confidence? Or when did you last have to do something that made you so nervous your hands shook?" Then it says, "The enemy would have enjoyed preventing Paul from ministering in Corinth becasue of feelings of inadequency, but Satan was unsuccessful." The next questions were "What about you? Has God ever used you at a time when you felt weak or had little to offer?" Satan would have loved to use the fact that I literally felt so defeated that I thought I would never sing again but God had other plans for me, I now lead worship every single Sunday and I can say that it has NOTHING to do with me! 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 says, "26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
I know I am not the best singer in the world but I am so glad the Lord has brought me through the journey I have been through to be able to praise Him and lead others in praising Him as well! I know God brought me through this so that I could not boast in my abilities. The end of the lesson for that day said this, " Oh beloved, God is faithful. Even when the enemy tries to batter us and lose confidence, God can steal the victory with a demonstation of the Spirit's power. In those times, God sometimes produces a harvest of fruit unlike any other. Those who have been touched are encouraged in a faith that does "not rest on men's wisdom but on God's power." (1 Corinthians 2:5) They end up seeing God and not us Hallelujah!!
I felt like that lesson was written JUST FOR ME! Don't you just love it when God does that and he let me read that lesson on a Sunday when I had to go and lead worship that morning for our church and let me just tell you, Satan was all over me that morning, telling me that I was no good, but the Lord kept bringing the scripture from the study up in my mind.
Proverbs 3:26, "The Lord is your confidence, firm and strong and will keep your foot form being snared."