Life has felt full lately—full of wonderful things happening in our family, but also some deeply heartbreaking ones. Being human is hard, and “facing life on life’s terms” is no easy task. But I love the reminder that even in the hard, there is always good. The deepest valleys and the greatest joys seem to walk hand in hand, and somehow, they make each other more meaningful. It’s in that tension that I’m reminded today of just how many gifts God has given me.
FACING LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS
Gladness can occur only as we face life on life's terms. It requires us to honestly struggle and accept that life is chock-full of mystery, revelations, joy, confusion, elation, tragic losses, powerful reunions, restorations, divisions, passions, and pains. Living life on life's terms also requires us to recognize that we have very little control over it.
When the walls around our hearts are broken down, we are set free to experience and choose full living. We are needy, dependent creatures who need to surrender our hearts so that we can experience how we are made—to be in relationship with ourselves, oth-ers, and especially God. When we do this daily, we begin to experience life through the heart and we begin to experience the heart of God. We recognize that while life is often depressing, frus-trating, and frightening, it is also wonderful, magnificent, and glori-ous.
Living life on life's terms is the realization that much, if not most, of life and its joys occur around pain and loss. Living life on life's terms allows us to face the fact that we aren't in control and that our dreams may never come true, and, even if they do, we will keep moving past them once we obtain them.
By living life on life's terms, we develop much more wisdom and ability to feel the other seven feelings. These feelings are made for life's fulfillment in relationship, which brings joy.
We are sorely mistaken and misguided if we use the gift of feelings as permission to be pessimistic, hopeless, doubtful, antagonis-tic, resentful, self-pitying, or unfulfilled. But if, in all of the warp and woof of living, we dare allow our hearts to be completely involved, we will find renewed acceptance and clearer understanding of life.
In this acceptance and understanding comes joy. But again, joy comes through the willingness to feel pain as we pursue living. We risk living with the potential of pain, or we give up a fulfilling life by committing our lives to survival through self-protection.
When a father gives his daughter away in marriage, it is a painful experience. He has sadness about knowing that their relationship has changed again-she has grown up and is leaving. He fears whether she will be okay as he lets go again. His heart hurts in knowing that he can't retrace steps and correct mistakes beyond saying, "I'm sorry."
cate increased is hier sid increases his joy and almost cer-
No one reaches the highest peaks of life unless she is willing to fall to the greatest depths. No one can experience deep, heartfelt joy unless he is able and willing to grieve to the core, even having hopes disappointed by not being fulfilled. Gladness, therefore, is only for the courageous because it requires risking emotional and spiritual pain in the midst of living lives as we are made to live them-fully in relationship.
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