I pray that I will be invigorated and strengthen with all power according to the might of His glory,
to exercise every kind of endurance and patience,
perseverance and forbearance with joy.
I read this verse this morning and I immediately thought about parenting. I need strength to exercise endurance, patience, perseverance and forbearance with joy in parenting badly! It has been a week. I mean every week is "a week" with three kids 5 and under but this week has been extremely challenging for me emotionally and physically in parenting.
Now, before it comes across like I am complaining, I have to say that my heart is not in complaining mode. I am full with joy at how much I love the three kiddos and how much fun they are in the different stages they are in. Buddy is just so fun loving, cuddly and lets it be known that I am his favorite person on earth! Adelyn is oh so cute right now and I wish that she would never grow out of her little baby high pitched baby voice and Annabelle is so stinking smart and I am, like I said in my last post, really trying to soak up these last few days before kindergarten starts, playing games with her and doing the fun stuff we enjoy together.
At the same time, buddy wants to be held all day long; he's huge and it hurts my back and makes me tired. Adelyn and Annabelle have decided that they are afraid to play outside and won't play upstairs without each other which means 100% of the day they are right by my side and 50% or more of the day they are fighting with each other. It's just a phase but exhausting none the less.
Hence, my draw to this verse this morning, endurance and patience are in high demand around here. Every day this week I have had a period of the day when all of it-as in the negative stuff I mentioned above- just was too much and I want to scream and run outside just for 5 minutes to be by myself and not hear anyone talking to me, needing me, or whining to be held.
A couple times this week I have not handled myself like I know I should have and I wish I could take back some of the words I said that I know were hurtful.
On Monday when this happened, I told the girls they had to go upstairs, that mommy needed a few minutes and I prayed and asked God to forgive me, to give me grace, and to help the girls not to remember me that way. I called my mom, who of course made me feel better; I received the grace and forgiveness that God gave me and I was fine. I went along the day thinking, "Well that was just one incident, things will be better tomorrow. I just lost control. Tomorrow will be better." The only problem was that yesterday the same scenario played out all over again.
So, I wake up this morning thinking, "What is going on with me?" and because the Lord is so good to me He reminds me of Philippians 4:13, " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I think, "Perfect verse. Thank you Lord; I get it. You gave me this task of being a stay at home mom, you promise me the strength to accomplish this task, even when things are overwhelming." I thought of 1 Cor, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man, but God is faithful, He will not let you be tempered beyond what you can bear." So, I am not alone. Moms everywhere must be facing the same temptation to lose it but with God's power I don't have to lose it. I can take the strength He offers to not give into that temptation. Truth is so refreshing to me.
After that, I decided to look into the cross references for this verse and I was blown away, every single one of them apply to parenthood.
So today I am making these my prayers:
So today I am making these my prayers:
1) God, I can do all things; I can be the mom that you want me to be, exercising the fruits of the spirit, through you who strengthen me.
2) God, you tell me that your grace is sufficient for me,
that your power is perfected in my weakness.
God I know I am weak, I have seen it all week.
I am exposing my weakness so that your power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
3) God, please help me to be strengthened with all power according to your glorious might so that I may have great endurance and patience with a joyful heart and thankful attitude.
4) God, I pray out of your glorious endless riches that you would give me power in my inner being. I desperately desire to be a mom who pleases you and shows my kids who you are by how I live.
I am very thankful that in the christian life my shortcomings and failures, the hard times all have purpose, every single bit of it draw me back to God, bring me closer to Him, knowing I cannot do this life, not for one second without Him.