Anyone else feel like they are on a roller coaster of a ride in life and with God? I start out with such genuine devotion followed by such bitter disappointment when I lose it on the kids again or don't respond the way I think I should to my husband.
Why do I think I should be perfect? I know God wants me to succeed in heart felt obedience to Him but it says in His word, " for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:14) He knows I am going to fail sometimes, but His word says, "...but where sin increased, grace increased all the more." (Romans 5:20) He made me and He is gracious in my weakness and failure when my spirit comes to Him broken over my sin. Also, my failure, and weakness remind me daily how desperately I need Him. And you know what? Loss, heartbreak, and disappointment all drive me to my knees seeking the ultimate healer and comforter as well.
In this case, it seems obvious that He allows us to fail and allows grief into our lives sometimes for reasons we will never understand but always because He loves us, wants to work in us and wants us to remember that we really do need Him.
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop ENDURANCE. And endurance develops STRENGTH of CHARACTER, and character strengthens our confident HOPE of salvation. And this HOPE will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."